Casting the villains

When last I wrote this grand dream that is Flash Gordon by Captain Koma, we had. Aura and Flash getting disturbed by heavy artilery by Prince Barin and his band of brothers. Dale was getting ho'ed up by the concubines and poor Zarkov was being tortured for 3 whole posts, ouch! Dale gets fed up with the concubines and decides to escape, in Mingo City a woman isn't expected to fight back. So she takes a few soldiers by surprise, but is subdued. But not before she gets to Mings throne room where Ming is entertaing Vultan of the Hawkmen.

So she (Dale) takes a few soldiers by surprise and she gets to Mings throneroom, where, Ming is entertaing Vultan of the Hawkmen.

Ming proceeds to use his pimping ring to take the aggression out of Dale, she stops in her tracks. Now submisive she meekly joins the guards back to the concubines. Vultan asks his Lieutenant if that was the warrior woman who came through the portal. The lieutant nods Vultan tells him "She's ours now." The guards escorting Dale are interupted by Hawkmen, who take Dale out of Mingo City leaving incriminating evidence blaming Prince Barin.

It seems everyone beleives that the entire strike team know how to open portals, which would make a huge change in Mongo's political landscape. Aura has taken Flash for her and Barin, and Vultan has taken Dale blaming Barin. But its Ming and Vultan who have Zarkov.

Casting of the Bad Guys.

Ming well theres a few to chose from.

Christopher Lee seems to be the go to guy when chosing a bad guy and Ming is supposed to be a real theatrical despot Lee does fit but is there any others. Alexander Siddig (yes Dr Bashir from Start Trek DS9) he could do it really he could. The only bad thing is that you'll get the whole arabs are evil crap.
Its a bad guy role who wouldn't kill to play Ming, apart from me that is. Then you can go for the ultimate evil the over actor David Caruso, he would be so bad at it. I'd pay to see that car crash, reallt I would. But let me throw you and even bigger curve ball Viggo Mortensen. Yep casting against type as a younger more active Ming Viggo would eat it up.


As for Klytus reall who cares as long as he's a mad crazy evill scientist. Hmm a manic crazy evil amoral torturer. Who can do that kind of evil crazy, honestly I can only think of a few who could do it. Sean William Scott crazy frustrated mainly sexually but still crazy. Bruce Willis he can bring crazy old school. Hugh Laurie just House with an English accent. But what about something so crazy you couldn't believe it what about Christian Bale now theres some mad stuff.

Cool casting huh!

The capture and ka-boom

Casting of the three human characters is done.

We have Zarkov (Jean Reno), Dale (Cote de Pablo) Flash (James Fanco). They are currently in the court of Ming the merciless, ruler of Mongo. Flash is the slave of Princess Aura, Zarkov is being tortuured by Klytus Mings evil scientist and Dale is being prepared for Ming. Well its a standard that Ming wants Dale as one of his concubines, so its gotta be in there. Hang on? I hear you say. Didn't you leave Zarkov and Dale at the hands of Klytus? Well yes I did but, we can't have torture porn, can we.

Didn't you leave Zarkov and Dale at the hands of Klytus? Well yes I did but, we can't have torture porn, can we.

Zarkov and the strike team are lead to the dungeons, the strike team are still kitted out in the standard SWAT military black. A few still have their helmets on including Dale, of course the helmet is removed in front of Ming. Here's how I see it happening.
Klytus does a sensor reading of all of them. He smiles and whispers to Ming. Ming orders Dales helmet to be removed. Ming coments disdainfully "What barbarians would send such beauty to war." So the strike team and Zarkov are tortured for information and Dale is sent to be beautied up by Mings concubines.

Meanwhile Princess Aura has decided to take Flash for a ride in her car. Unfortunately the ship is shot down by a missile while Aura is too busy trying to put the moves on Flash. Here we have Robin Hood and Merry Men whoops! I mean Prince Barin. The Prince has always had a thing for Princess Aura and he takes Flash to be just another rent boy. Flash takes offence at being treated in such a way and punches Barin for interupting the two (remember Fully Licensed Ass Hole) this of course leads to this scene.


Whoops wrong scene maybe this one.


Okay so we've got Barin and Flash fighting and Dale getting prettied up by Mings concubines (I've liked having to type concubines its a fin word). Its from here that things go a little differently from the movie version.

Now casting Ming, Klytus, Prince Barin, and Princess Aura. I'll do that later today.

Who do you think shold play whom?

Destination Mongo

Above is the map of the planet Mongo where Ming, Vultan and Prince Barin all reside.

Click it. It takes you to a real big version.

Mongo is also where Flash, Zarkov and the strike team get teleported to. Of course they get telported straight into the middle of Ming's delightfully named Mingo City. Of course Ming takes great delight in new-commers from another world. He looks after them at first displaying the charaismatic charms any despot has. After finding out that they are alone and that they are not in touch with their planet, even more that earth does not even have a central government. He decides to turn them into slaves. Of course the princess Aura wants a few for her own pleasure, the rest are sent for experimentation by the evil Klytus.

So yeah we don't have this-


But we do get this -


I think thats a decent switch. Flash wants to get out and save his team but realises he's going to need help. Of course Zarkov and the head of the team have a fun time being tortured by Klytus. Oh yeah I didn't mention who the leader of the strike team to aprehend Zarkov was. It's Dale Arden.
Yep like a lot of other writers I don't think we need more than one damsel in a dress and having Dale as the Strike Team leader makes for a heroine in the mold of Sarah Conner and Ripley. So we have a few casting options today.

We still have to decide who's going to be Flash. I ummed and ahhed about this for a real long time and did some searching on IMDB and I ended up going for Harry Osborn.
Yep James Franco, he'd bulk up for the role of course and I think he'd bring a level of humility to Flash and it'd be great cause then we don't have a muscle bound blonde mullet to deal with. He can do rage and anger and his almost James Dean looks will make the girls all go ga-ga. Okay where did that all come from. Sometimes I gross myself out.
Now the rest of the cast begins to flash out here. For Capt. Dale Arden we have a bevey of tough chicks to choose from.

Cote dePablo

Yep Ziva from NCIS, tough MOSSAD agent and not bad on the eyes either (again I can't beleive what I'm saying here) Somewhere in between Sarah Conner and Ripley, well she's it.

Kate Beckinsale

Yeah Underworld Gi-joe and all of that, loks great in lycra and rubber. She's got the graveley voice thingy goin on that make men go "fraiuen-laven". Yeah she'd do well but she's done it all before

Rhona Mitra
You want bad girl steamy dreamy fo-feeni, this is it. Definately the choice if you want to sex it all up. But then again maybe she'd be better as Aura?

Hillary Swank
Again another in the Ripley mould. She's not super model with the nose job type and she doesn't have a voice that makes you melt but she's beleiveable as a militatry officer and is tough enough. Remember she did the girl boxing movie.

Who am I leaning to? Well I like Cote De Pablo and think she has what it takes. But if you wanted someone with previous experience in a staring role in a big movie then I'd go either Hilay Swank or Kate Beckinsale.

Check this out Flash Gordon the comic

Flash boom ah-ahhhh!

Oh yeah! What a way to start out the second day of Flash Gordon week.

Now where did we leave off last time? Thats right Zarkov and his portals getting to Mongo and, of course we haven't even gotten to Flash himself yet. Zarkov is under surveilance by the FBI ummm! the FBI doesn't work for me right now. Its just that this is where Flash comes into the movie and I don't want him being a Football player or a runner. He needs to be closer to an Indiana Jones type hero, A guy with brains and enough brawn and guts to get the job done. He can't be some muscle bound moron with blue eyes and a blonde mullet. He's like a young Gibbs from NCIS tough, street smart, but still with enough brains to know when not to use his fists. I'd have him second in charge of the group who have Zarkov under surveilance. He's headstrong willing to follow his gut instead of his head. Flash is an acronym - Fully Licensed Ass Hole.

Flash is an acronym -
Fully Licensed Ass Hole.

So they get the call to bust Zarkov but Zarkov has traps placed (I'm leaning towards Jean Reno as Zarkov) Flash gets there first but gets caught in the trap. He gets himself out of the trap to find Zarkov has used a gas to subdue the rest. Zarkov goes back to his portal Flash shoots first and begins a chain reaction that transports everyone to Mongo.

Fun huh! okay casting time for F.L.A.S.H

I'd be stupid if I didn't mention a few regulars here.

Eric Bana - Yes I'm mentioning Aussies again but I have to.

Liev Schriber - Hey I always thought he had potential back when he was in Kate & Loepold.

Thomas Jane - He wont do The Punisher which he was made for but Flash?


The problem with all of this is that I'm a bit out of the loop when it comes to casting a young 20 something in this role. The previous choices are all okay, of course for me Liev Schriber comes out on top. I am not going to mention Shia LaBeouf cause he's not getting in this movie.

I am not going to mention Shia LaBeouf cause he's not getting in this movie.

A non-white guy would be great too. I think about Sean William Scott but he's not rough enough. Then you start thinking about Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson but he's not what I'm looking for as Flash at all. Josh Duhamel looks about right but can he keep it up without looking all wrong and Vegas all the time. Then again maybe Chris O'Donnel nah!

Help me I've fallen and I can't find my Flash?

Flash Gordon week begins

C'mon you all know we want this. The Canadians even had a go in 2007 with a TV series.


It got one series and that was all they did. Why? Cause it sucked! They didn't even use the Queen soundtrack, not even as a joke. They had Flash as a runner who's Dad was a scientist with Zarkov opening portals in space time. Now thats a good idea but there were some bad flaws that made the show Stargate lite. If your lighter than Stargate your not much of a show to begin with. Mind you they got the Mongo stuff right but its just that the whole dimensional portals not being noticed by the army or government when Flash finds out is just too unbelieveable.

"So Captain Koma how would you make Flash Gordon for the Naughties?" I hear you all ask.

Well first of all lets keep the whole dimensional gateway thing. Its similar to the 1980 movie and is a handy plot device when used well. So we have to have Zarkov and the portals, also I like mad scientists they have an alure all their own. Zarkov stays as the access point to Mongo, but he's a mad scientist whose being tracked by the FBI for providing nuclear weapons technology to Terrorist groups. What does Zarkov care for earth, He's too busy trying to reach for the stars so he can save everyone. Zarkov's plan is to get to another planet using the dimensional portal, he wants to save humanity. Who could play Zarkov?

Well there's a few to choose from.

David Tennant

Yeah its not a far stretch from Dr Who to Zarkov but he'd give it the energy and madness required. Also he's great with accents so he could churn out something eastern european enough.

Anthony LaPaglia

He can bring the nasty when he wants to. So what if he's on the TV these days he was good as Barry "The Balde" Muldano. I reckon he'd be great as Zarkov.

Jean Reno

He's French. Thats not so bad. People often mistrust the french and Reno can play a more sneaky Zarkov with menace.

David Wenham

He's another Australian along with LaPaglia but he's very good and he can do awkward mad scientist really well. Also he was in 300 which means he does bring some badass to the role.

But what about a woman playing Zarkov?

Here's my choice -

Victoria Abril

Yes most of you kow her from Pablo Almodovar's "Tie Me Up Tie Me Down" but she's got what it takes to be an Evil Scientist consumed with her plan to save humanity.

This is Flash Gordon week so there'll be more with the story and casting later on.

Thursday Thoughts

I have ideas and some of them will never happen.
Like for instance me being able to slap Hugh Jackman over the head ala Gibbs from NCIS.

Or meeting Mary-Louise Parker (sigh!)

But some ideas are so strong that they have to be shouted from the roof tops. This is just one of them.

Yep thats right I want to finally get to this TV gem and scrape the TV to movie bucket clean of what its got left. I can hear you scream Noooooooo! But please wait for my pitch.

Hogan's Heroes the movie won't be called Hogan's Heroes but STALAG 13 and it will be grim and gritty. Hogan is a womanising con-man full of himself, he doesn't care about anything but scamming the limeys and getting laid. Unfortunately he goes too far bedding the wife of a superior officer. Hogan has two options gaol or join a secret plot to undermine the German war effort inside Germany.

Colonel Whilhem Klink is a decorated Luftwaffe piolt who has been punished because of his families connection with Jewery. This has him shipped off not to the Russian front but to command a prisoner of war camp. Klink is of the Prussian nobility and considers the NAZI's as userpers.

Hogan and his team are dropped into Germany and meet up with the underground, they try a few jobs but are cosnstatly thwarted. Their hideout is radied and only a handfull escape. Hogan comes up with the plan that they should break into a POW camp.

Things start off badly as they are treated horribly by the camp guards, but they are able to support the underground from the realtive safety of the POW camp. Klink works it out but turns a blind eye because he can't stand the NAZI's.

Okay thats about as far as I've gotten in my thinking and thats usually as far as these thoughts go. But I want to expand on this and go further, doing some casting and a bit more plot development. So hang around this idea might sporut wings and fly. Of course you can all help too. Comment on your ideas.

Lets make this Happen

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight.

When this movie hit the theaters, a lot of people were calling it the best “comic book movie” made and talked about how it transcended the genre. It wasn’t just a comic book movie, it was a really good movie that happened to have these comic characters in it.

Better late than never for me, but I did finally see it recently. That being said, it was a pretty good movie, it dealt with some interesting issues. It had big explosions and you could tell that director Christopher Nolan wasn’t just trying to make explosions and chase scenes, he wanted something more.

And yet…

There were things there that just didn’t quite work for me. While Nolan did strive for something more than a dumb summer movie, I feel some parts of the movie could have been done better.

First off, the Batsuit. I suppose much of the credit/blame for the rubber armor suit can go all the way back to Tim Burton’s movie, but it’s just a little too much. Yes, we’ve come a long way from seeing Adam West’s Batgut sticking through some thin blue tights and I don’t want to see Adam West’s Batgut sticking through those thin blue tights in a major movie like this, but there has to be something in between. The suit is too clunky and stiff and so limb movements become restricted and stiff as well. And where are these limb movements needed the most? Uh, in the action scenes, the fight sequences, the hanging off the truck sequences. On top of that, they lampshaded the fact that they improved the armor’s movement by having Bruce Wayne ask Lucius Fox to redesign the suit specifically so he can turn his neck. Yes, Batman is supposed to have the gadgets, I know that. He’s not supposed to be Iron Man though.

The Joker. Somehow, the consensus was that Heath Ledger’s Joker was the greatest thing since that last greatest thing. I will give him props for the blowing up the hospital sequence, from what I understand they needed to do it in one take, the explosions didn’t correspond with his button mashing on the remote detonator, and he ad-libbed the rest. It was brilliant, but the rest of him just didn’t seem right to me. The character itself seemed like Ledger was channeling French Stewart from 3rd Rock From the Sun. The Joker doesn’t need to be some cackling circus clown, but he is a clown. While giant sledge hammers and acid-squirting flowers aren’t necessary, the Joker seemed a little too calculating and brooding in all of his actions. Hey isn’t Batman supposed to be the calculating and brooding one in this dynamic?

Finally, the movie was just had too much going on. Bruce Wayne’s side trip to Asia, the Wayne employee who figured out Batman’s identity, the fact that Bruce Wayne had to save him as Bruce Wayne and not as Batman, the countless absurd, over the top, incredibly intricate schemes that the Joker, the improvisational agent of chaos implements, the switcheroo with Harvey Dent stepping forward as the Batman, all of the extra Batmen, and the long chase through Lower Wacker Drive, er I mean through the Gotham streets. So much extracurricular happenings occur that we don’t have time to develop the things that should be there. Rachael Dawes is there and both Dent and Wayne would do anything for her, I think, but there was no room to explore that, apparently. And Dent gets the rawest deal of the whole movie. (Just about) everyone knows he’s destined to become Two Face, you know it’s coming but he flips from bad to good too easily. Well, my face is half burned and the Joker here says that it’s not his fault. Guess it’s time for my heel turn. So he’s the bad guy, he captures Gordon’s family and we get a drawn out scene where he’s threatening Gordon’s son and then he plunges to his doom (come on Hollywood, stop endangering children. It’s too easy of a way to declare someone is officially evil).

Like I said earlier, The Dark Knight isn’t a bad movie; I just think they could have done better. It does hold up pretty well as you watch it and a lot of the action and intensity works, but there were just some things that make you go “Huh?”

Like say for instance, why did Batman take the heat for what Dent did at the end? If they wanted to protect Dent’s work, couldn’t they have blamed it all on the Joker?